Nine lessons from the second trimester

This time, er, last trimester, I was firmly in survival mode; still feeling sick, still keeping my pregnancy a secret, and wondering when and if this longed-for pregnancy start to feel tolerable, let alone enjoyable. There I was, safely into the second trimester and frankly, I felt just a shit as I had a week before. Now safely ensconced in the big T3 by a whopping three days, I thought I’d try to capture again once I’ve learned before the memories of the last three months fade from my hormone-addled mind.

Last week, I made a confession – that the hilariously-termed ‘honeymoon period’ of the second trimester has, for me, not been all that fun. But it hasn’t been all bad. So in the interests of balance, here are my big lessons from Trimester no. 2.

1. My nausea didn’t magically disappear the second my pregnancy app announced trimester no.2. I still felt rough for weeks, had to keep shovelling pitta bread down my gob to stop the room spinning and had to cancel several dinners out because I could no longer face fancy food. The nausea did start to properly ease after around week 16, and by week 19, I could enjoy a coffee again without feeling like I was about to hurl. It wasn’t until week 22 that I finally felt brave enough to start adding chilli to my food again. But I can, now, a few days into week 28, eat everything in sight once again.
2. As my nausea eased, my appetite revved up. There were many times when I had to get up at 4am to scoff a bowl of cereal. There were many more times when I felt ready to eat my assistant’s arm during the long wait for a team lunch. It felt a bit like the easing of a two day hangover – only this one had been going on for months. The only downside was that during sudden growth spurts – of the baby, not me – my stomach felt like it was going to split open half an hour after I’d satisfied my hunger.
3. Coming out was GREAT. After months of worrying about telling work, my team said my news was fantastic and bought me a bunch of flowers. I started wearing my baby on board badge on the tube. God what a brilliant invention. Strangers stood up on the tube to let me sit down. I no longer had to worry about ‘hiding’ my belly and instead started finding ways to make it look bigger.
4. Annoyingly, my bump didn’t magically appear any faster than my appetite but gradually, what looked very much like the result of a big lunch started to look rounder and more pronounced, until one day during week 19 when my jeans became impossibly tight, I tried holding them together with a hair bobble. Later that day, I realised this looked absolutely horrendous, so made the first (of many) trips to Topshop to grab some maternity tights, belly band and magic maternity tights. And from there, it hasn’t stopped growing. As the trimester progressed, I’d reach for my belly in the morning when I woke up. By the end of T2, it had become more of a hindrance, causing much ‘oof’ing to turn over in bed or get up from the couch. I find myself clutching at it on the way to work and stroking it absent-mindedly in meetings. It’s now getting so big that it is pushing out my ribs and bumping into things. So hold on bump-wishers – your time will come.
5. People have been very understanding of my weird behaviour. This usually related to needing to have food around at all times, insisting on opening windows all the time (because the super sense of smell has not disappeared) and having moments of absent-mindedness so pronounced, I felt a little bit stoned. Later, when I entered an Extremely Emotional Phase (see below) I found that Babydaddy has previously untapped reserves of patience. Good to know for when the baby comes.
6. The fear has given way to intense soppiness. I’ve fallen in love with my wiggly baby. When it squirms around, I feel like it’s saying hello. I find it very hard not to start talking to my belly in public. It’s like having a pet, especially when I’m wearing a fluffy jumper. From the first fart-like kick to the regular squirms and wriggles I enjoy at the moment, every movement is a wonderful reminder that the baby is getting closer to being in my arms.
7. I have become incredibly, intensely, emotional. I will basically cry at anything. Ads for Stop Funding Hate, the movie Arrival, and very cheesy songs have all had me ugly-crying and bulk-buying tissues. I did wonder if I was actually going mad, but I’ve now decided to just roll with it. Usually I think a gal should go with her gut, but as a kindly midwife said to me last week (I was in tears again, about taking the glucose test), ‘when you’re pregnant, don’t trust your feelings. You’ll feel completely differently in about 20 minutes.’
8. Slowing down is A GOOD IDEA. I’ve spent most of the last three months running around like a lunatic, booking in weekends away and trying to crush a hastily-assembled pre-baby bucket list of cultural excursions. I actually haven’t enjoyed it that much. If you’re about to enter this period, please don’t make the same mistake as me. Pregnancy is a headfuck time of massive change, and you t make the effort to chill out. Now that I’ve finally accepted that fact, started going to bed earlier, and prioritising proper dinners at home ahead of working late, I’ve started sleeping better, crying less, and generally feeling like a much more sane person. I only wish I’d cracked this a couple of months earlier.
9. Friends are wonderful. We’re already fully stocked with baby clothes, a playmat, about five thousand maternity pads (alarming) and a whole host of other handy items donated by mates who, unbeknown to us, had been saving all their baby belongings for our arrival. Of course friendships will change when you have a baby. Until now, for me this has meant seeing less of friends with kids, or planning around nap/feed/babysitting duties to get quality time with them. I’d forgotten that, when you join this club, those friends welcome you with open arms. It was a tough reality to face after miscarriage or when we were struggling to conceive – but now I’m on the babywagon, it’s been a very lovely surprise.

And so to Trimester Three. Bloody hell. Wish me luck!