On sleep deprivation

I brought it on myself, really. Seven months in and after a touch of successful night weaning, and I thought we had it nailed. That was it! My baby slept through! Life could resume as normal. I was even cocky enough to mention it in this blog. Of course, my baby had other ideas. First …

Self sufficient two week olds, male pregnancies and delayed implantation: What humans can learn from the animal kingdom

I thought Blue Planet would provide some light relief from my long, baby-filled days. I thought the pretty fish would be soothing. The last thing I expected was to develop some kind of species envy and suddenly wish I was a sperm whale. Sperm whale babies don’t climb up on their cot bars and stand …

Why I’m a baby class dropout

Before I had my baby, I pictured myself swanning around the capital's galleries, baby fast sleep in his shiny new pram, meeting friends for coffee and perhaps browsing the shops. A few weeks in, I discovered that swanning around the capital with a baby is impossible, unless the swan in question is extremely tired, lugging …

Stop changing the fucking clocks

I'd like to just set one thing straight. The clocks changing does not give anyone an 'extra' hour in bed. There are not suddenly 25 hours in the day. If you want an extra hour in bed it might occur to you to just have an early night. I don't see why the entire country …

Life with a newborn… what I wish I’d known

If only I had known this day would actually come. I'm sitting on my couch, with a hot cup of tea, a sleeping baby in his cot and a brain which is almost fully functioning after a mostly undisturbed night of sleep. But then, seven and a half months is a long time. Getting to …

The waiting game: Advice for overdue mamas

Spoiler alert: I've only gone and had my baby. Seven whole weeks ago, in fact. My little gremlin is dozing in his bouncer as I write, and with my mind finally starting to function again, albeit very slowly, I thought I'd share some advice for anyone going through the waiting-to-give-birth game. One of the very …

The clueless woman’s hospital bag

Here's the thing. In NCT classes and in your trusty pregnancy books, there will be a number of handy guides for what to bring to hospital, and other 'essentials'. While kind of useful, I nevertheless found myself alone in a postnatal ward with an enormous suitcase, packed to the brim with shit I did not …

Essential purchases for trimesters 1, 2 and 3

Shopping when you're pregnant is a different beast to those pre pregnancy days. For a start, there are hardly any clothes that fit in the bloody shops. But in addition, I've found myself having to buy ever more ridiculous accessories to help me get through each stage. Having found the whole thing a bit mystifying, …

Why being pregnant in January rocks

My belly is the size of a small shipping container. My ribs hurt. I now have only one dress left that fits. But our little bean is now a great raging kicking beast, and thinking about this time last year, when I was blissfully ignorant of an impending miscarriage, makes me feel extremely grateful to …

Nine lessons from the second trimester

This time, er, last trimester, I was firmly in survival mode; still feeling sick, still keeping my pregnancy a secret, and wondering when and if this longed-for pregnancy start to feel tolerable, let alone enjoyable. There I was, safely into the second trimester and frankly, I felt just a shit as I had a week …